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    • Ingredients 200g rashers bacon, diced 1 brown onion, peeled and diced 1 tablespoon coconut oil 500g kangaroo mince (or beef mince) 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 small carrot, grated 100g mushrooms, finely chopped 2 cups baby spinach leaves 2 x 400g tins of diced tomatoes 1 tablespoon tomato puree 1 teaspoon vegemite (or marmite) 250ml red wine ½ cup (25g) oregano leaves 4 (300g) lasagne sheets Bechamel 50g butter 50g plain flour 300ml milk 100g cheddar cheese, grated 100g Parmesan cheese, grated 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard   Add bacon and onion to a large frying pan. Cook for 5 minutes until bacon has cooked and onion is translucent.  Add coconut oil and mince to the pan and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, until browned all over.  Add in garlic, carrot, mushrooms and spinach and cook for another 3-5 minutes until softened.  Add diced tomatoes, tomato puree, vegemite, oregano and red wine to the pan. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer, cook uncovered for 20-25 minutes until sauce thickens.  To make bechamel sauce, melt butter in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add flour and stir in quickly for 2 minutes or until mixture is bubbling and you form a thick paste. Gradually add milk, whisking, until combined and the sauce thickens, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir through mustard and most of the cheese (reserving some for the top), and season with salt and pepper.  Preheat a fan-forced oven to 180ºC and grease a 27cm x 20cm baking dish with butter.  Spoon a layer of bolognese sauce into the dish, top with lasagne sheets and a layer of bechamel sauce. Repeat until all the bologenese, lasagne sheets and bechamel sauce are used up. Make sure you end with a layer of bechamel sauce. Sprinkle over reserved cheese.  Place lasagne into the oven and bake for 35 minutes until cheese is golden brown on top.  Remove from the oven, slice into 6 pieces and serve with some greens.
    • A man enters the confessional and says to the priest, “Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.”   The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys.”   Soon after, another man enters the confessional. “Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.”   This time the priest asks,”Who is Nookie Green?”   “A new woman in the neighborhood,” the sinner replies.   “Very well, ” sighs the priest. “Go and say ten Hail Marys.”   At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a gorgeous, tall woman enters the sanctuary. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.   The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and whispered, “Is that Nookie Green?”   The bug-eyed altar boy replies, “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”
    • A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly at the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.   "What are you doing?" she asked.   "I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.   "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.   "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.   "Love dress? But you're naked!"   "Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."   The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.   Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.   "What are you doing?" he asked.   "This is my love dress," she replied.   "Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"
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