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NickAu

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About NickAu

  • Rank
    Bleepin' Defenestraphobic
  • Birthday 02/03/1965
  • Age 53

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  • Gender
    Male
  • OS
    other
  • Computer specs
    Operating System
    Linux Ubuntu 16.04 LTS 64Bit


    CPU
    Intell i5 4460 @ 3.2 GHZ
    Motherboard
    MSI H81M -P33
    Ram
    8 GB
    Storage
    256GB mSATA SSD Boot + 1TB 5400RPM SATA 6Gb/s

  • Age 53

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  • Country
  • Age 53

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  1. NickAu

    Church Ladies with Typewriters

    Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Weight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
  2. NickAu

    Sept. 5 - Sept. 12

    Post 16
  3. NickAu

    Communication

    A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
  4. NickAu

    Kegs

    post 3 no 2
  5. NickAu

    August Desktops

    post 3
  6. NickAu

    Aug. 22 - Aug. 29

    post 14
  7. NickAu

    Aug. 22 - Aug. 29

    My Shed during the floods
  8. NickAu

    Aug. 22 - Aug. 29

    My man cave
  9. NickAu

    August 8th - August 14th

    Why do lawn mowers have head lights? I also have a ride on but mine is old beaten up and been under water due to floods twice.
  10. NickAu

    Ireland

    Sorry but thats how I see Ireland.
  11. NickAu

    HOBO

    post 2 no 2
  12. NickAu

    August 8th - August 14th

    2 KG of Blueberries.
  13. NickAu

    August 8th - August 14th

    Hope you lot like fish photos LOL.
  14. NickAu

    August Desktops

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